Once upon a time there lived a sprightly sprite named Shacklebop (or Hunnykiss, for short) in a bright cave deep in the middle of the forest. Shacklebop was fond of pie, all kinds of pie! Apple, blueberry, turkey and cheese, spinach, rhubarb, chicken vindaloo, black pepper beef, double chocolate fudge, you get the picture.
But the pie he craved the most was strapping young bloke pie, coincidentally the most difficult to come by (especially in the middle of the forest). Every other ingredient was easily obtainable, thanks to traveling salesman Harry Porter and his Portable Shop O' Ingredients. Unfortunately for Shacklebop, strapping young bloke was always "habis stok" (translation: out of stock).
"Try the cultured but greedy widower," said Harry. "Never had any complaints about the flavour."
Shacklebop shook his head stubbornly. "No! Nothing tastes quite like a generous helping of strapping bloke pie. The younger the bloke, the better!" he insisted vehemently.
Harry shook his head, too. "You can wait until all the hairs fall off your chinny-chin-chin then. No young men venture into this part of the woods anymore."
"Noooooooooo," moaned Shacklebop woefully. Tears formed in his vivid violet eyes, a physical blessing unique to those of the unfairer sex in his clan of sprites. "Surely there must be something that can be done!"
"Turn vegetarian? It's all the rage," suggested Harry helpfully.
"What? And kill innocent vegetables?!" cried Shacklebop in genuine horror.
"Erm... the spinach I sell you every Tuesday is a vegetable."
"SHH! Don't let it hear you! For goodness' sake, comrade, have some consideration for those about to meet their maker!" Shacklebop admonished, clutching his six bags of fresh spinach to his chest protectively like a mother defending her young.
Harry stepped back slowly. "Well... you need to find something to lure strapping young blokes into the forest then. Something interesting and magical and shiny."
"Like what?"
"Heck if I know, I'm just a salesman!" And with that, Harry packed away his gadgets, meats, vegetables, stationery, exercise equipment, oil-free non-comedogenic cosmetics, booze and other necessities into his briefcase and rode away into the sunset on his green tricycle.
Shacklebop twitched irritably for a full minute, pondering the situation and Harry's advice.
Something interesting and magical and shiny. But what?
(To be continued...)
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Hallo, boys and girls! Gather 'round and let me pick your brains for a minute or seventy! Why don't we make this story
truly interactive? Oooooh, what does that mean? Well, YOU get to suggest everything that goes into this story!
For now, let's all help to decide what interesting and magical but not necessarily shiny thing Shacklebop can come up with to lure strapping young blokes into the forest! Go on, unleash that crazy imagination!
