Mental Exorcism

I have moved!

2008-12-03T17:33:00.002+08:00

Yep, my blog that no one reads now has a snazzy new home at WordPress.

HERE IS THE URL.

In case you didn't get that, it's http://caelestia.wordpress.com

Please update your bookmarks (you did bookmark my blog, right?).

You know what they say, it's better to update your bookmark of Li San's blog than to have your ears nagged off!

A Nonsensical Story Borne of Boredom

2008-11-29T01:08:00.005+08:00

Once upon a time there lived a sprightly sprite named Shacklebop (or Hunnykiss, for short) in a bright cave deep in the middle of the forest. Shacklebop was fond of pie, all kinds of pie! Apple, blueberry, turkey and cheese, spinach, rhubarb, chicken vindaloo, black pepper beef, double chocolate fudge, you get the picture.

But the pie he craved the most was strapping young bloke pie, coincidentally the most difficult to come by (especially in the middle of the forest). Every other ingredient was easily obtainable, thanks to traveling salesman Harry Porter and his Portable Shop O' Ingredients. Unfortunately for Shacklebop, strapping young bloke was always "habis stok" (translation: out of stock).

"Try the cultured but greedy widower," said Harry. "Never had any complaints about the flavour."

Shacklebop shook his head stubbornly. "No! Nothing tastes quite like a generous helping of strapping bloke pie. The younger the bloke, the better!" he insisted vehemently.

Harry shook his head, too. "You can wait until all the hairs fall off your chinny-chin-chin then. No young men venture into this part of the woods anymore."

"Noooooooooo," moaned Shacklebop woefully. Tears formed in his vivid violet eyes, a physical blessing unique to those of the unfairer sex in his clan of sprites. "Surely there must be something that can be done!"

"Turn vegetarian? It's all the rage," suggested Harry helpfully.

"What? And kill innocent vegetables?!" cried Shacklebop in genuine horror.

"Erm... the spinach I sell you every Tuesday is a vegetable."

"SHH! Don't let it hear you! For goodness' sake, comrade, have some consideration for those about to meet their maker!" Shacklebop admonished, clutching his six bags of fresh spinach to his chest protectively like a mother defending her young.

Harry stepped back slowly. "Well... you need to find something to lure strapping young blokes into the forest then. Something interesting and magical and shiny."

"Like what?"

"Heck if I know, I'm just a salesman!" And with that, Harry packed away his gadgets, meats, vegetables, stationery, exercise equipment, oil-free non-comedogenic cosmetics, booze and other necessities into his briefcase and rode away into the sunset on his green tricycle.

Shacklebop twitched irritably for a full minute, pondering the situation and Harry's advice. Something interesting and magical and shiny. But what?

(To be continued...)

-----

Hallo, boys and girls! Gather 'round and let me pick your brains for a minute or seventy! Why don't we make this story truly interactive? Oooooh, what does that mean? Well, YOU get to suggest everything that goes into this story!

For now, let's all help to decide what interesting and magical but not necessarily shiny thing Shacklebop can come up with to lure strapping young blokes into the forest! Go on, unleash that crazy imagination!

What's wrong with Victoria's Secret models?!

2008-11-28T00:40:00.010+08:00

I don't mean the physical perfection reserved only for mythical gods and goddesses. (Everyone and their kid brother knows we have Photoshop to thank for that :D)

I was browsing www.victoriassecret.com (just looking!) when I came to a realisation that some of the photos of the models were quite scary. Almost as though someone had hacked the site and doctored them so they would look... like real people!

Here is the first photo that made me do a double take.

Eh?? I think that's Isabeli Fontana, who is usually gorgeous. Then came this mono-squinty-eyed technicolour creature.

Any of you familiar with Karolina Kurkova who has appeared in every goddamn fashion label campaign in the universe?

Of all the shots that must have been taken of her wearing those clothes, whyyyy that one? I'm no stick insect and I have nothing against some extra padding, but surely that's not the most flattering photo, especially for VS.

I wasn't aware VS now offers clothing for men. Anyway, this next one is of Alessandra Ambrosio. If you claim you don't know her and you have a pair of testicles, I know you are lying.

It's not as bad as the others but if I bumped into her in a dark alley, I would be very, very afraid.

Cuteness Overdose!

2008-11-25T23:44:00.008+08:00

Unless you and I have plans to hang out later, this link takes you to the cutest thing you will see this year. Don't believe me? Here's a sneak preview.

Can I get a collective "Awwwwwwwwww"? ^_^

Very Ugly Christmas Sweater for Sale!

2008-11-25T23:35:00.005+08:00

Tis the season to be jolly and wear ugly clothes given by relatives whose names you don't even remember nor do you want to! :D

While browsing eBay, I came across this:
Very Ugly Christmas Sweater Sweatshirt Puff Ink sz L XL

Here is a brief description from the seller: "looks like grandma's doily has been transferred onto the shirt".

Starting bid is $0.98 and so far there is already 1 bid. The sweater might be ugly, but at least it is selling. My portrait didn't :(

Crazy costumes

2008-11-22T22:25:00.003+08:00

I'm sure these can be considered a form of abuse!

Someone doesn't look very pleased!

Ok, this one does.

That one doesn't even know what hit him. Hey, why stop at kids?

Teens on southern roast beef

2008-11-19T02:38:00.003+08:00

Ever wonder what teenagers talk about? Look what I found on a teen forum. And no, it is not food related (debatable for many, I am sure).

I don't think I was ever that nasty. I was probably worse.

Buy my David Cook portrait (and Michael Johns, too)

2008-11-19T01:02:00.002+08:00

I Googled David Cook portraits and one of mine came up. Oddly enough, it was the less popular (in terms of views) one. I couldn't find the other, although I did see some "artistic" photographs of "David".

In a shameless attempt to promote my prints on deviantART, I am re-posting my David Cook and Michael Johns portraits here. No idea if it will help... can't hurt to try!

Prints are available in various sizes here.

Prints available in various sizes here.

Prints available in various sizes here.

Sell, my pretties, sell!

Zachary Levi & Ace Young

2008-11-19T00:48:00.005+08:00

Is it just me or does Zachary Levi from the TV show Chuck resemble Ace Young, a previous American Idol contestant (who, aside from being cute, was quite a terrible singer)?

Zachary Levi

Ace Young

Guh, Zach is so damn adorable as the unlikely geek hero. I should have listened to Ari and caught Chuck when it first aired. On the bright side, I can watch the entire season without having to wait.

Adorkable indeed. I want me summa dat, pronto.

PS - I am aware they do not look alike. I'm just saying they look similar in those photos. Zach is much better looking (and I still didn't like Ace's singing).

Singapore with borrowed photos - Day 2: Avenue Q

2008-11-10T16:53:00.009+08:00

I was deliriously excited by the time 2.15PM rolled around and we had parked ourselves at erm... open space inside the Esplanade. Avenue Q was at 3PM and we had 45 minutes to kill, so BY and I were watching an Indian band during sound check. The band comprised 4 members: a pianist, a tabla player, a sitarist and a pot-player (is there a name for this??).

Yeah yeah, I don't know my Indian musical instruments. It was amusing to watch them tune the drums, especially with the engineer going, "Just slap it. Keep slapping it." Oh yeah, harder. By the time they started the performance I was bored.

Avenue Q merchandise was on sale just outside the entrance to the hall. There were cute t-shirts with song titles printed on them, such as It Sucks To Be Me, Everyone's A Little Bit Racist and the infamous The Internet is for Porn. When I read aloud, I'm Not Wearing Underwear Today, the cheeky guy at the sales booth quipped, "You're not?" Ha ha.

The lights dimmed promptly at 3PM (Singapore kicks Malaysia's ass on this... Malaysians would annoyingly trickle in after the show has started).

Avenue Q was MUCH better than I expected. It's a delightful, hilarious show featuring Sesame Street-like puppets, but for adults. Princeton, a fresh graduate with an idealistic outlook but no "purpose", moves to Avenue Q, where he meets a bunch of fascinating characters.

L to R: (Back) Nicky the unemployed bum; Asian American Christmas Eve and her American husband Brian; Kate Monster the sassy yet shy romantic; Princeton; Trekkie Monster the porn addict; the Bad Idea Bears.
(Front) Mrs. Thistletwat who is Kate Monster's bitch boss; Rod the gay investment banker; Gary Coleman; Lucy the Slut; the silent woman who doesn't sing but helps control the puppets and is also one half of the Bad Idea Bears).

Lucy the Slut.

The songs cover sex, homosexuality, racism, porn, love and Gary Coleman. My idea of awesome un-PC entertainment for 2 hours. The show also has the cutest announcement for an intermission ever - a mini count-up to 20 on the TV screen, so you're left wondering WTF are they counting for? When it reaches 20, the text comes up: 20 MINUTE INTERMISSION.

The cast was terrific, mostly Filipino, I think - each person controlling puppets plays 2 characters. The girl who played Kate Monster and Lucy the Slut had an insane vocal range. Felix Rivera who played Princeton / Rod was brilliant, too. Great voice, full of personality and cute to boot. Heck, the whole cast rocked.

My favourite scene involved Rod, the gay character, and Nicky, his best friend / love interest. Sigh.

I wish I could see it again and I wish I could sing! Singapore definitely has Malaysia beat in the arts and entertainment department :(

Singapore with borrowed photos - Night 1

2008-11-10T15:38:00.006+08:00

I met Edward at 7:03 PM at Wild Oats Bar On The Hill, just next to Hangout Hotel. He was almost half an hour early and I was only 3 minutes late (compared to my usual 10 minutes, that is quite the achievement). I really wish I had a camera, and we forgot to take any pictures with BY's phone. For now, we'll have to make do with my doctored borrowed images.

Entering the scene, I felt like a secret spy on a covert mission (well, I was hoping no one would see my zit). I couldn't see him but he could see me. Sneaky. When he emerged from the bar, I was surprised at how much taller he looked than he did in 72 dpi on my 24" widescreen. I fought the urge to say, "You look so much better unpixelated!" But I reminded myself that revealing your weirdness is under 1 minute is not socially acceptable, no matter what country you are in.

This is Edward, but this is not what he wore when we met. It is his Halloween costume from last week.

The atmosphere at Wild Oats was relaxed, breezy and classy. Although they didn't play any 80's music (except for Blondie's "Call Me", oddly), Latin jazz sounded pretty good. My favourite thing about it was their tagline: “we distrust camels or anyone who can go for a week without a drink”.

Edward was super sweet to spend the evening playing host, even though he had a major project to complete by Monday. BY and I really appreciated it and felt kind of bad about it. I kept wondering while we were warming up at the bar if I should suggest that he leave early. Then again, I didn't want to be the one to stir up awkwardness.

Fortunately there was none of that uncomfortable silence that sometimes invades first-time conversations. Everyone got along great (unless I am oblivious to any harboured feelings of hatred post meeting). About 90 minutes later, we decided to walk down the hill in search of dinner.

Of course, we chose CHILI CRAB! That along with some sotong sambal and tom yam soup. (Sorry, Singapore, Malaysia still pwns you in the food department.)

Good thing it wasn't a first date. We (especially me) got our hands dirty and at one point, BY sent her crab flying across the table. I managed to get my hands totally covered in chili sauce while everyone else was relatively neat. Do I rock or what?

After the crab had been devoured, we wondered what to do next. We even resorted to talking about how pale my legs were and the lines on Edward's palms. With his furrowed brows, you could see he was thinking hard about where to take us, especially since I have an insane lust for 80's music. I put him out of his misery by saying we didn't have to go to a club. Anywhere with live music would be great, too.

We walked off the calories traversing the city a bit, viewing amazing green patches of land! We also passed a really cool looking building that could have been featured in Batman or some other dark film where the villain falls to a grisly impaled death.

BY argues that the angle is wrong for impaling, but hey in movies anything is possible. These photos don't really do it justice... I swear it looks a lot more ominous against a black velvet backdrop of night lightly dusted with stars.

Anywayy, Edward took us to this very nice bar with a live jazz band (I forget the name now). The drummer kicked ass. He looked half stoned in a white tee and blue shorts, like he had just rolled out of bed and was still asleep. On the 3rd floor was a belly-dancing act, which had unfortunately ended by the time we arrived. This led to a whole discussion on male belly dancers and what their uniforms should look like.

At around 12.30PM, Edward had to go. Damn university project! Still, he was the perfect gentleman to walk us all the way back to Hangout Hotel before leaving. BY and I wanted to hail a taxi for him but he fled down the stairs before we could blink or attack him with a hug. Well, it was 1AM and the poor guy had to be up bright and early for a whole weekend of slaving. Ed, if you're reading this, we had heaps of fun and can't wait for more when you come up :D

Singapore with borrowed photos - Day 1

2008-11-10T14:02:00.008+08:00

This past weekend, I went down to Singapore with Boom Wing to see Avenue Q, meet up with friends, shop and shop some more. The shopping part seems pretty dumb when the economy is going further down the gutter. I guess if someone has to help stabilise things, a couple of professional shopaholics are the ideal candidates.

Ironically, I buy heaps of stuff, but I still have not bought a new camera. In the meantime, you'll have to use your imagination when you read my posts. Don't worry, I'll throw in some borrowed visual aids to assist you :D

BY and I took the 8AM Aeroline down to visit our neighbours. I slept through most of the journey, except for breakfast and pee breaks. Did I mention I enjoy the convenient ability to sleep anytime, anywhere? We arrived around 1PM and immediately went to hunt for some lunch.

Malaysian food > Singaporean food. Hands down.

[By the way, do you know the phrase "hands down" has jockey origins? According to phrases.org.uk: Jockeys need to keep a tight rein in order to encourage their horse to run. Anyone who is so far ahead that he can afford to slacken off and still win he can drop his hands and loosen the reins - hence winning 'hands down'. This is recorded from the mid 19th century."]

While we're on the subject of useless crap, BY and I shared a plate of Singaporean hokkien mee.

It's not bad la, but Malaysians do it so much better. Hor, Edward? Shelling the prawns took a million years. Why hasn't someone invented a gadget for easy shell removal? Mine is called "teeth" but it doesn't always work so well for light-coloured clothing.

Speaking of food stains, I have a brilliant idea! If I were an artist, I would make a series of T-shirts with different food stains. Curries, soups, stews, gravy-based noodles, coffee, whatever! Alas, I am not an artist and I wear mostly black.

After we were well stuffed, so was my disgusting zit. Mt. Zitron finally decided to erupt right when I was browsing for pigments at MAC. Poor BY had to wait 10 minutes for me while I tried to save the rest of my face.

That's when I had the bright, very Cina idea of going to Kiehl's and fishing for samples. The guy working there was kind enough to get me a full range - cleanser, toner and moisturiser. Bless him and his flawless skin.

Once the Pimple Gods had been appeased and we had done enough shopping, we headed to Hangout Hotel@Mt Emily, a budget hotel. (Both taxis we took did not know where that was. Luckily, BY had a map and I can read maps :þ) The last time BY was there, she reported that her room came without a window. Ours was on the 6th floor and came with a gigantic window overlooking some construction sites and foreign workers. Yay.

No, that's not Hangout Hotel. It's a budget hotel, for crying out loud, what were you expecting? That is actually Wild Oats on the Hill, a really nice bar "housed in a colonial mansion amidst a sprawling garden".

Okay, that is Hangout Hotel. Sorry, that is the best photo I could find on Google. It really is a nice place, good location up on a hill so it's breezy and quiet. The only (minor) setback is having to walk down a lot of steps and down the hill to get to the main roads again. But exercise is good, keeps you healthy and physically attractive.

And that's almost exactly what our room looked like. A standard room with twin beds, a desk, a clothes rack and an adjoining bathroom the size of a roomy broom closet. The most important thing is that everything was clean, although we did come across a couple of harmless bugs but they looked fairly clean, too.

To be continued...

I am so bored

2008-11-06T21:03:00.005+08:00

I am so bored I sat down to write
A terrible poem about my boring ass night.
I suppose things are not all that bad,
Except I overate and now I feel fat.

For some reason I keep meowing out loud,
Even in public (I'm sure they were wowed).
It's like my inner filter is broken...
Some things are better left unspoken.

Although I am bored, I do have stuff to do,
Such as pack for Singapore and window shop, too.
God, I can't stop surfing eBay for shoes!
Goddamn you, overpriced Jimmy Choos!

If only I had lots of money or a rich man-ho.
Call me superficial but I would be comfortably so.
For now I'll settle for dreaming and bargain bins -
Just wait, it won't be long till my ship comes in!

(Honestly I don't even know what that means...
I'm just trying to rhyme, playa, know what I mean?)

Forcing my thoughts to rhyme is kind of amusing.
(I'm sure it's annoying some of you, ya, Yew Seng?)
Okay, Li San, stop mucking about, it's already nine -
Go pack and don't forget your underwear this time!

Yearbook Photos

2008-11-06T02:28:00.009+08:00

What yearbook would be complete without high school sweethearts? I have had my fair share of them. Here are some of the more memorable ones.

My first taste of dating someone "outside of my race". What a bad boy.

Charles, the future financial analyst, alcoholic and abusive husband.

What girl can resist a struggling musician who can play the guitar with his toes?

I hit the jackpot when every girl's dreamboat Brad gave me his class ring and cooties. Swoon.

I forget who this is but let's just call him Michael.

Yearbook Photos

2008-11-06T02:04:00.011+08:00

So, I never shared with you guys my yearbook photos, and for good reason. Those usually suck, unless you are Natalie Portman, then you have probably been beautiful your whole life. But for the rest of us, we would rather keep these horrific testaments of a lifetime gone by where they are, locked away in a dark place safe from prying eyes.

Not me. Being the brave soul I am, I'm riding on the trend of posting yearbook photos of yourself on the Net. So here are some of my best moments in high school and long after.

Here is when I joined Avon and sold cosmetics door-to-door, but not before they gave me a total makeover. I was so cool with my mod specs.

After being voted Worst Salesman in 1966, I decided to go back to my old hairstyle.

When disco and Donna Summer hit, so did Saturday Night Fever. Ah, ah, ah! Stayin' alive!

This is me during my glory days, some time after I won the much coveted title of Miss Hicksville 1974. Birds loved me for some reason.

As old age set in, my style oozed er, demure sophistication.

Most of you don't know this... but I used to be a librarian, teach piano on the weekends and front a girl group in the 80's called The Molly Ringwalds.

The 80's came and went with the shoulderpads and big hair. My hair looks so modern and chic here. Shiny happy people la la la...

Warning: Fast food brand NOT being food-friendly

2008-11-03T12:59:00.002+08:00

Warning all fast food lovers. I've just received word from a reliable source that a certain big name in the fast food industry has decided to make a change... for the worst.

To cut costs, Company X has switched from food-grade inks to NON food-friendly fluids in an attempt to cut costs. Just how does this affect consumers like you and me?

Food-grade inks are preferable for food packaging (God, shouldn't it be mandatory?), as the chemicals are safe for consumption. However, regular inks are not. So every time you chow down on Company X's greasy, artery-clogging products, you get nice "additional flavoring." Imagine buying a pack of fries and being oblivious to the fact that the inks are slowly penetrating your potatoes. This is obviously NOT good for your health.

I'm not naming names because I don't want to get sued, but really, you should not be porking out on fast food anyway. Is a few minutes of enjoyment really worth your health in the long run?

The power of sad music

2008-11-02T12:42:00.004+08:00

The question isn't even, "Do you like music?" anymore. It's "What music do you like?" Unless you are quite a strange person, chances are you love at least one song.

I love, love, love music and cannot imagine my life without it. It's really amazing how different styles can make you feel all sorts of emotions. I've noticed half of my collection comprises songs that aren't exactly happy, and I love them.

Let me make this clear to those of you who think I am depressed. You can appreciate sadness without actually being miserable. Queue up your favourite tearjerkers or angst-riddled songs, hit play and all you have to do is wait to be taken to that dark place.

Sometimes you need the release, to feel something, to set free the side you hide from the world for a little awhile. You can call it "emo", but it works for me. Yet I will admit that I cannot stay in this dark place for too long before it becomes a scary vortex that has you for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I need to hit the brakes and put on something happy, or I will wake the next morning feeling like crap crapped on that's run over by wild horses and crapped on again.

That's the sucky thing about sad, lovely music. I want to keep going, not necessarily for the emotional high (or low?), it's also for the true appreciation of a well-composed piece. Yet for the sake of my sanity (and of those around me), I must exert some control.

Oh, Li San, you're so emo.

Oh yeah, I'll show you how emo. I leave you with "If the World Ends", a deliciously dark yet hopeful track by Guillemots.

Lyrics

I just about managed to forget you when you appear in a dream
and you're even more beautiful there than i remember you being
so i've come to decide that fate is telling me you will not go
and considering this, i want you to know

if the world ends, i hope you're here with me
i think we could laugh just enough to not die in pain
if the world ends, it won't finish you
you're not the type they can capture
you flit like a fly catcher
they can't pin you down, can't pin you down

in my dream you're playing with buckets of sand
and water was running through both of your hands
and i don't think i ever heard you speaking
cause i was too wrapped up in the dream i was dreaming

so if the world ends, i hope you're by my side
i don't think with you here it will be too much pain
and when you cry, darling i wish you'd feel my love
your heart is way beyond capture
flitting like a fly catcher
they can't pin you down, can't pin you down.

Maliah Calley - Toss My Body

2008-11-01T18:21:00.008+08:00

Every now and then, something magical comes up on YouTube. A find so priceless it moves you to both laughter and tears. Introducing Korea's answer to Mariah Carey, Dong-Won Kim.

Lyrics for you to sing along with him (you know you want to). I've edited them because I think this is what he is really saying.

Oh yay-ee-yay-ee-yay-ee-yay-ee-yay-ee-yay... (you get the point)
I know that you been waiting for me, I'm waiting too
In my inagination I be all up on you
I know you cop that fever for me, 102
Boy I know that fear the semi temperate through

If there's a camel rubber here, then its Gong Li with me when I do, I do!
If there's a camel rubber here, then it's best as a flagon, YouTube, YouTube!
Cos if your onion mara breaker bore a secret rendezvous
I will hunt you down
Cos baby I'm up in my business like a wedding interview
But this is private, be two and I

Toss my body!
Pull me on the floor
Rustle me around
Play with Wii some more
Toss my body!
Throw me on the bay
I just wanna make you feel like you never did

Toss my body!
Rape me round my thighs
All around your waist
Just a little taste
Toss my body!
Know you love my cock
Come on and give me what I disturb

Boy you can pull me on you like a brand new white tee
I'll hug your butter tighter than my favourite cheese
I want you to caress me like a tropical breeze
And float on it with you in the Caribbean sea

If there's a camel rubber here, then it's Gong Li with me when I do, I do!
If there's a camel rubber here, then asbestos flagon, YouTube, YouTube!
Cos if your onion mara breaker borrow secret rendezvous
I will hunt you down
Cos baby I'm up in my business like a wedding interview
But this is private, be two and I

Toss my body!
Pull me on the floor
Rustle me around
Play with Wii some more
Toss my body!
Throw me on the bay
I just wanna make you feel like you never did

Toss my body!
Rape me round my thighs
All around your way
Just a little taste
Toss my body!
Know you love my cock
Come on and give me what I disturb

Touch you like a teddybear
You won't wanna go nowhere
In the lab of luxury
Boy it's just a tongue to me
You are long for nothing, boy
I will give you plenty of toys

MY BODY!
Pull me on the floor
Rustle me around
Play with Wii some more
Toss my body!
Throw me on the bay
I just wanna make you feel like you never did

Toss my body!
Rape me round my thighs
All around your way
Just a little tay
Toss my body!
Know you love my cock
Come on and give me what I dissolve
And toss me

Oh yay, oh yay, oh yay, oh yay
Oh yay, oh oh oh oh oh
Oh yay, oh yay, oh yay, oh yay
Oh yay, oh oh oh oh
Oooooooooooooh baby
Oooooooooooooh toss my
Aaaahhhhhhhhhhh!
Karma, give me what I disturb!
Aaahhh, oohhhh, aahhhh!

I sold my babies

2008-10-31T23:28:00.007+08:00

It was a Wednesday when I pulled up in the dark alley with a stabbing pain in my side. It's OK, you can do it, I told myself. In half an hour, they will be delivered and you will stand tall, knowing you made the right decision.

Deciding was the easy part. From the moment I saw the photos, I knew I had to have them. I may not be wealthy, but I am an independent single woman. I don't need permission to welcome new additions to the family. Besides, they were beautiful and perfect in ways I wasn't.

Ignoring the hunger pangs, I drove myself home with my new babies. Cradling them in my arms for the first time was a revelation. Their smooth skin radiated with a glow gifted only to newborns. Gazing at them, I saw myself reflected in a different light. They made me feel beautiful and wanted. Even when I stumbled, they would never judge or complain. How could they?

Then came the problems. I quickly realised I had grown far too dependent on them for support, for comfort, and to be loved. So it was no surprise when things became painful to the point of being unbearable. Who was I fooling? It was obvious the pieces didn't fit.

The next decision was the hard part, but I knew it wasn't fair to either of us. Determined to find them the best home possible, I tried to appeal to an international audience. Much to my dismay, the authorities put an end to my attempts and I was reprimanded for my unlawful behaviour. Damn eBay.

Over dinner with a friend, I relayed to her this tale of bittersweet conditional love. Sympathetically, she offered to take them off my hands, and I reluctantly agreed.

It was a Friday when she pulled up in the dark driveway outside my house. "You are under no obligation to do this," I said weakly.

"It's okay, I want to," she assured me.

I thought of how much I loved them and how right they felt in my arms. I would miss their first birthday, their first steps out in the great big world, their first cuts. But then I reminded myself that here was an intelligent and successful woman, willing and certainly able to give them a good home and the affection they deserved.

"Say goodbye, Lis," she whispered kindly.

My heart broke for the millionth time as I wrapped them up in little bundles and stroked them for the last time. Oh, my beautiful babies. No, no goodbyes. I will see you again. And even if you belong to someone else, I will always be the one who was there when you took your first steps.

Gone, but always remembered.

A new portrait pt 2

2008-10-29T03:30:00.003+08:00

Just a little update, in case you are remotely interested. I didn't get to spend much time on this today, thanks to another riveting day at the office! Maybe an hour and a half.

Hair takes way too long.

A new portrait

2008-10-28T03:03:00.004+08:00

Being someone who is not known for her patience, I went ahead and started a new portrait without waiting for the poll to finish. I have the sneaking suspicion the total vote count won't differ much from the current one, and ultimately it is my decision to make.

So here she is, mysterious and incomplete. Surely this is obviously not photo manipulation.

Can you guess who she is?

Guillemots - Sea Out

2008-10-28T02:44:00.003+08:00

Heard this on the previous episode of Gossip Girl, "Chuck in Real Life", right at the end when B & C almost... Great song. If you're looking for it, you can either listen to it below or download it. Please contact me if you have a better quality version, I can't find one anywhere other than YouTube.

Selling my art

2008-10-26T12:01:00.003+08:00

So I've decided to do something about all the fanwork that's taking up space on my computer. SELL THEM. Beautiful high-quality A3 prints. I'll put them up on eBay and see if they sell.

What do you think would be a good starting price? $24.99? Would anyone want to buy my work???

Should it come in a frame or just rolled up in a tube case? I think the latter would be safer and more economical for shipping. But with a frame, I could charge more.

Now most importantly... WHO should I draw? Ari suggested Angelina Jolie for males, which is brilliant, and Zac Efron for females, which I'm not so sure about. Do teenage girls have online spending power? Can we have a vote? Eh, I gotta figure out how to include polls here.

One more thing... what if I draw them NUDE? Could I get sued? My game plan is to sell portraits of Angelina nude, then her lawyers will be on me like Oprah on the poor, and I'll max out my 15 minutes of fame by inviting other celebrities to pose nude FOR CHARITY. Angelina is sure to drop the charges seeing how she is an avid fan of charity. YAY!

Lipstick Jungle Blooper - Letter from the Editor

2008-10-10T02:29:00.003+08:00

***WARNING: SPOILER!***

In the latest episode of Lipstick Jungle, Nico Reilly is ordered to write an apology as Editor of Bonfire magazine, for a controversial fashion spread that involves "models wearing $700 shoes being dragged around by orderlies."

Being the nosy person I am, I paused to read the actual letter and was delighted to find that half of it is an excerpt from a guide to writing an apology letter (starting from where the red mark is).

It's not really a goof, although the producers must expect fans of the show to talk about it, which surely is good reason for them to leave it in.

Scrumpilicious Banoffee Pie

2008-10-09T23:57:00.009+08:00

Dear Solitary Faithful Reader,

Much time has passed since I last regaled you with captured moments from my not-so-interesting life. Fret not, the worrisome culprit often named Laziness, has been seized and remains locked in a secret safe in a galaxy far, far away. And now I return bearing gifts greater than diamonds and lottery tickets from the future...

THE SECRET RECIPE TO BANOFFEE PIE!

That's right, darlings. If you don't know what banoffee pie is...

Thanks, Mr. T, whose favourite colour is soft pink, as everyone knows. So back to the pie, banoffee is a combination of banana + toffee. If you guessed banana and coffee, that could work too; try tweaking the recipe I'm about to share with you and let me know how it goes. So without further ado, voilà!

Banoffee Pie (borrowed by Anna Olson from Sugar)

[For the crust]
2/3 cup butter
2/3 cup sugar
1 whole egg
1 egg yolk
Lemon zest
1 tbsp brandy or rum
1 tsp cinnamon
1 pinch cloves
1 cup toasted brown almonds
1/4 cup all-purpose flour

Get a big mixing bowl, add in the butter and sugar, and mix it together until it's nice and creamy. Crack in an entire egg (Anna says it helps make the crust more waterproof) and then another egg yolk, but just the yolk (you can use the whites to make a hair mask or something). Stir the mixture. Grate in some lemon for the zest. Then add a bottle of brandy or rum. Yeah, if you're serving a shipload of swashbucklers! Just a tablespoon of the stuff will do - hey, I have to see if you're paying attention!

Now add the cinnamon and cloves, then give the mixture a good stirring. While you're feeling like a milkmaid churning butter, throw in the toasted brown almonds and all-purpose flour. Keep stirring till the mix is erm, well mixed.

This is the part where I reveal I've never done any actual baking ever in my life, except for ready-mixed cupcakes and muffins. Anna took out the doughy mixture and kind of kneaded it into a neat round slab, which she then wrapped in plastic wrap and pressed down a bit to make it even neater. Then she chucked it in the fridge to chill for 1 hour. So do something similar and you should be fine.

After ogling Kirby Atwood for a full hour on Lipstick Jungle, it's time to cool off with that cold slab of dough you left in the fridge. Unwrap it (obviously) and place it on a light dusting of flour. Then lightly dust another layer of flour on it.

While still thinking of Kirby, grab that big, long, hard rolling pin. Oh yeah. Roll the dough using light and short er, rolls. Anna cautions against using too much pressure (I didn't catch this part but I'm guessing the crust could end up breaking if you do?) so take it easy with light gestures and short rolls. Make sure the dough is slightly more than 1/4 inch thick.

Get your pie tray or whatever that thing is called and place it on the dough, and cut the dough a few inches around the tray to make sure you have enough to fill it with. Am I making sense? You basically need to fill the base and sides of the pie tray with the layer of dough, so just make sure you have enough. If you're stuck, I can't help you there, ya.

For this next bit, I got a little distracted although I don't think I missed anything, but if your pie turns out funny, there could be a missing step here. Either that or you're just terrible with instructions. Anyway, dot the dough with a fork for ventilation or something. Now you're ready to chuck the tray in the oven at 175ºC (350ºF) for... I'm not sure how long. I swear she didn't tell!

Trial and error, I say, trial and error...*sheepish*

[For the filling]
Sliced bananas, ripe for eating
1 can condensed milk*
3 tbsp brown sugar
2 tbsp whipping cream
2 tbsp brandy or rum
Vanilla extract

Here comes the fun part where you make the sweet ooh-y gooey filling you imagine licking off Kirby's glistening abs!

Get your crust from the oven. Slice some bananas that are ripe for eating (but not too ripe). Line the crust with the banana slices.

In a pot over medium heat, pour in the condensed milk and the brown sugar. Stir the mixture (over medium heat) for 10 minutes. You can work with a low heat if you need more control, but you'll need to stir it for longer. Add in the whipping cream and brandy or rum, as well as vanilla extract (again, she didn't say how much... maybe 2 tbsp?).

By now, your mixture should resemble toffee. Pour it in over the banana slices in the crust. Chill for 15 minutes in the fridge.

[For decoration]
Chocolate syrup
Chocolate curls or sticks

Don't you think it's time for a well-deserved break? Congratulate yourself with that bottle of rum, but yo-ho-ho don't forget to retrieve your pie from the fridge or you'll be ARGHing, me matey.

Okay, that was cheesy even for me.

Yeah, so get your pie which should be all nice and pie-like. Now for the finishing touches. Top off your lovely pie with a generous dollop of whipped cream and spread it around a bit.

If you're up to it, drizzle chocolate syrup over it the way a chef would add icing with those rolled up papers. But if you're feeling lazy, I guess heaping on globs of chocolate syrup works, too. On the other hand, if you're feeling particularly pretentious, add a few sticks of chocolate so it looks all arty-farty and you can take 100 photos of it for Facebook, where your friends can go OMG, you made that?!

And last, but not least, cut the pie in half and place the bigger half in a pretty air-tight box. Then have the box delivered to my house :D

That's all, folks. Hope you enjoyed my first (borrowed) recipe (and probably the last). If you decide to try it out, do let me know how it turns out! Happy cooking and remember, guns don't kill people but fires sure do!

*According to The Hungry Monk Restaurant, "The secret of this delicious pudding lies in the condensed milk. Immerse the can unopened in a deep pan of boiling water. Cover and boil for 3 hours making sure that the pan does NOT boil dry**. Remove the tin from the water and allow to cool completely before opening. Inside you will find the soft toffee filling."

**"It is absolutely vital to top up the pan of boiling water frequently during the cooking of the cans. 3 hours is a long time and if they are allowed to boil dry the cans will explode causing a grave risk to life, limb and kitchen ceilings."

Wet dreams

2008-08-19T00:22:00.002+08:00

Lately I have been disturbed from slumber by a wet discomfort on my face, down my chin and neck. I wake just long enough to wipe the drool and go back to sleep, sometimes without a tissue.

Hey, you'd be too lazy to crawl out of bed for a piece, too!

Malaysian Passport Renewal

2008-08-16T12:15:00.006+08:00

Our government really needs to make this kind of information readily available to the public. The current Immigration website appears to be a dumping ground of information, but nowhere does it tell you how to get your passport the fast and easy way. Instead I had to rely on other Malaysians' blogs and forums to get the lowdown.

My whole family (all 3 of us) went and got our passports renewed at Terminal 3 on Friday, hence my day off work which was just as well since I was down with a cold. We arrived at nigh 9.40AM, the place was already packed so I worried we would be stuck there awhile but nope, we were out just after noon. Not bad for government processes!

What you need for a speedy passport renewal are:
1) Your old passport (obviously, but not so to some);
2) 1 passport photo (bring a couple just in case);
3) A photocopy of your MyKad (ensure both sides of your card are copied on the same side of the sheet, otherwise you will have to spend 40 sen making a copy there);
4) RM300 for a 32-pg passport; RM for a 64-pg one.

That's it. With those things, just proceed to KIPPAS (KIosk Pembaharuan PAssport) and the nifty little machine will tell you what to do.

Image borrowed from lifeinkl.com

Seriously, it's so easy to use the kiosk that even the computer-illiterate can handle it. If not, there are officers on standby to help you out. (Personally I think they were just there for the air-conditioning, since the place was under renovation and that was the ONLY room with functioning a/c. But I'll be patriotic and claim they were super hard-working government officers. Okay, to be fair, all the ones we encountered were quite enthusiastic and all very young. No stuffy, grouchy old fogeys save for a few.)

You'll be asked to slot in your passport, your photo, the photocopy of your MyKad and of course, the money. You'll also have to stick your thumbs on the scanner and select your height in cm. I was tempted to hike it up a few cm, but okay, I shall remain 166cm. All this takes a few minutes, depending on how tech savvy you are and whether the kiosk goes crazy or not. After which, you'll get a slip that tells you to head for Counter 13 to collect a number to get your new passport in 2 hours.

Yes, TWO HOURS. Malaysia boleh!

So go catch a break at the greasy cafeteria next door or take a nap or watch a movie on portable media while you wait, then come back and wait for the officers to manually announce you can collect your number. This part is a bit iffy, ya. It has to be after the time stated on your slip, or you will be told to wait to get a number. Once you do, you just sit pretty and wait a few more minutes before your number is called.

It's also good to note if you're doing this as a family, you can collectively share only one number. When the officer asked why we didn't just take one, I was tempted to snap back sarcastically, "Right! Because that gigantic poster there tells us so!"

Also good to note is if you have visas that are still valid for a long while in your expired passport, fear not. They will not be destroyed, just the cover of the passport will be castrated whereas the contents remain untouched. So you will need to bring your old passport with you should you require any of the visas there. For instance, my US visa expires in 2014 so if I ever can afford another trip to America, I have to bring my old passport with me for the next 6 years. Great.

My only gripe with the entire process is that although it's fast and easy, so many Malaysians aren't aware of this. Our government really needs to work on the education and information dissemination process. Otherwise no one will know how convenient it actually is to get your passport done now. They will have to rely on Internet blogs and forums, which can be confusing and unreliable. Except for mine, of course :)

Malaysia boleh!

Ignore Li San's Phonecalls Day

2008-08-03T19:23:00.002+08:00

Oops, excuse me, I didn't get the memo. Apparently it's Ignore Li San's Phonecalls Day. Called about 5 different friends and NOT A SINGLE ONE of them answered. What, are you guys all busy having lazy Sunday evening sex? *jealous*

In less than 5 hours my weekend will have slipped away too soon again. Eesh, let's all rally for 3-day weekends. I'm sure that's what we all want, right?

The Coconutz - Nothing Compares To You

2008-07-31T00:07:00.004+08:00

Yes, it's a cover of Sinead O'Connor's hit back in the er, 90's was it? Damn, you know you're getting old when it feels like the songs you grew up with were just on the airwaves yesterday. Anyhoo, this version is by The Coconutz, whoever they are.

nothingcompares2u.mp3 - The Coconutz

I first heard it in the end credits of Forgetting Sarah Marshall, which was much better than I anticipated. It's a comedy about a guy who gets dumped by his girlfriend and the long painful road to recovery. Pretty good stuff, loved the quirky characters especially Russell Brand's full-of-crap rock star boyfriend persona and the Christian couple. Some of the best quotes I've heard in awhile!

"If God was a city planner, he would not put the playground next to the sewage system." (You'll have to guess what that refers to.)

"You have Christ between your thighs... only with a shorter beard!"

"Life's a bitch, and where you're going, that's exactly what you'll be!"

The definition of downstream products

2008-07-29T17:57:00.004+08:00

As explained by Peter M...

Peter the Boomerang says: Well judging from the name I would deduce it refers to items or products which occur as a result of the process of manufacturing/assimilating the primary product

Hopeless morantic says: I thought so too. Like byproducts?

Peter the Boomerang says: Yeah, cept they're viable, marketable products in their own right

Hopeless morantic says: cool. so like if i had a poo

Peter the Boomerang says: no, Li San NOT like having a poo *sigh*

Hopeless morantic says: and there were pearls in my poo... they would be downstream products

Peter the Boomerang says: *sigh* yes

Thanks, Professor Peter!

Irene loves me

2008-07-28T16:24:00.000+08:00

Here is proof that Irene has deep feelings for me.

meep says:dont msg

meep says:motherfucker

meep says:slap u

meep says:BYE

meep says:dont MSG

Monkey pig

2008-07-27T03:48:00.004+08:00

Mother nature has gifted us yet another anomaly (surely man had more than a helping hand). Say hello to Monkey Pig!

Villagers were shocked after a monkey-like piglet was born in China.

Curious locals flocked to the home of owner Feng Changlin after news of the piglet spread in Fengzhang village, Xiping township.

"It's hideous. No one will be willing to buy it, and it scares the family to even look at it!" Feng told Oriental Today.

He says the piglet looks just like a monkey, with two thin lips, a small nose and two big eyes. Its rear legs are also much longer than its forelegs, causing it to jump instead of walk.

Feng's wife said the monkey-faced piglet was one of five newborns of a sow which the family had raised for nine years.

"My God, it was so scary. I didn't know what it was. I was really frightened," she said.

"But our son likes to play with it, and he stopped us from getting rid of it. He even feeds it milk." <--- OMG, Charlotte's Web #2?

Neighbours have suggested the couple keep the piglet to see how it looks as it matures.

So You Think You Can Be A Cartoon Character

2008-07-26T23:43:00.003+08:00

You have to love an online networking site that opens doors to things you only daydreamed you could do, especially for people with no self-confidence. I found a Facebook post about open auditions for voice talents for a Malaysian cartoon series. Thinking I don't have anything to lose, I signed up. The audition was this afternoon, which I almost missed because I had trouble getting my ass out of bed.

It went better than I expected. Actually, I don't think I had any preconceived notion of auditioning for an animated series. The creative director of the project recognised me immediately (as I did when I saw him on Facebook) and we figured out that we both attended the same college. The voice director was a jolly American named Brian (sp) Zimmerman. He was personable and really put me at ease during the briefing. I was nervous trying on the different roles. The whole audition lasted longer than I thought it would be. I had to play about 5 very different roles.

At the end of it, I was told that "for someone with no experience" I was really good. Brian said I had a "natural acting ability", "lots of raw talent and potential", "a wide range of voices" and I "take direction well". Damn, that felt good to hear. However, I suspect I'm not quite up to scratch. Anyhoo, he told me they would definitely keep me on the KIV list and even if I don't get a part for this project, he would consider me for others. God, I hope so. I had so much fun and I can see myself making a career out of this. Like Ari says, I need to practise :D

I glued my fingers together

2008-07-04T23:29:00.003+08:00

Because I am cheap, I bought a box I have to assemble manually, instead of buying an actual box. I thought it would be a piece of cake and I imagine it actually is for normal people, but I should have known better. I am a klutz. I did not realise the glue was the SUPERDUPER strength type and it was much more fluid than expected, so it trickled down my fingers and before long, lo and behold, I had glued my fingers together.

Wee.

I always wondered why anyone in their right mind would pay good money for a pretty box, the kind you see at gift stores and think, pshaw, I could make one myself! I now know those shops and those boxes exist for people like me.

At the rainbows' end

2008-06-24T01:54:00.004+08:00

My friend, Dan, took this photo of twin rainbows.

Nice, huh? Go here and tell him you like it.

Save the crossing cat, save the world

2008-06-24T01:35:00.004+08:00

Last Friday, I had to stop to wait for a small cat to cross the road. The same thing happened today. It might even have been the same cat. What's going on here? Is the universe trying to tell me something?

Irene says it is a sign, the animals are attempting to communicate with me and I have to listen. Listen.

A few days ago I dug up this old article about the Bible Code (lol) by Michael Drosnin, where it says the secret to saving mankind possibly lies in the peninsula of Lisan, which parts the Dead Sea. Incidentally, it is possibly where Sodom and Gomorrah used to be.

Lisan. Listen. What is it saying? Save the world, Li San, save the animals, save humanity, save us.

The suicidal dog

2008-06-18T21:49:00.003+08:00

There is a dog around my neighbourhood along SS20/10 that I am convinced is suicidal or plain rebellious. (I prefer the former.) Half the time he lies in the middle of the road like he's dead. Sometimes he brings a friend along and they both pass the time perfectly mimicking roadkill. Once I was so concerned that he was dead, I stopped the car and got down to check. Nope. Remembering the saying, I left him to nap.

When I don't see him, I worry that he might have been run over by some heartless or reckless driver. As of 18 June 2008, he is alive and well. Okay, scratch the last part, I don't know how mentally sound he is.

Tonight I conducted a small experiment. Driving pass that area as I usually do to get home, I spotted Mr. Suicidal almost in the middle of the road. I decided I would shake up his day just a little, so I slowed down as I neared him. He turned his head towards my direction. Gradually, I came to a stop with my headlights right in front of his head (gives headlights a whole new meaning). Don't worry, I am an animal lover and I was very, very careful. Fearlessly, he looked straight at me.

I inched forward the slightest bit. Unfazed, the Risky Ruler of the Road, Lionhearted Lord of the Lane, Grand Poobah of the Path, just held his gaze. If we were in a comic, I would have a gigantic question mark over my head. I waited a full 10 secs for a reaction or the slightest movement. Nothing.

Just then, another car approached from the opposite direction. I gave the Courageous Canine a few honks, mostly to try to move him yet partly as a sign of respect or a pat on the back to say, "Hey, you win, you crazy animal!"

Nope, didn't work. Conceding defeat, I had to reverse to get around him (that's how close I was). If only I had a camera, I would record the whole thing and upload it on YouTube and get criticised by flamers for animal abuse.

Is this normal doggy behaviour? Is he visually impaired? Can dogs even be suicidal? Whatever it is, he's grown on me and I recognise him on the street just as I would any landmark. If I'm driving home late and I see him, it's kind of comforting, almost as though I have bumped into (not literally) an old friend.

I hope he'll be around for awhile.

SYTYCD 4 - Mark/Chelsie + Katee/Josh

2008-06-16T03:43:00.004+08:00

Weeeee, another season of So You Think You Can Dance. Unlike last year, I didn't have any favourites, but Mark Kanemura is growing on me. He was fortunate to get Mia Michaels for his first performance with Chelsie Hightower. Mia describes this dance as "what would Tim Burton's wedding be like" and I'm a big fan of quirkiness.

My favourite routine of the night was the hip-hop one by Katee and Josh to Chris Brown and Jordin Sparks' "No Air". The concept revolves around a pair of lovers and their reaction to him being drafted to Iraq. Along with Mia Michaels' bench routine from Season 2 and reunion with a dearly beloved from Season 3, this one tugged at my heartstrings.

A really, really weird conversation with Peter

2008-06-14T02:32:00.005+08:00

About Iker Casillas...

Póg mo thóin says:
namewithheld looks like Iker Casillas. first heard about him when i was about um... 20
Anima Sola says:
and how soon after that did you start stalking him
Póg mo thóin says:
i just thought he was hot and ogled him on the internet a bit
Anima Sola says:
you should make a play for him
Póg mo thóin says:
yea i'll start my psychic signals now. IIIIIIIIKEEEEEER COOOME TOOOOO MEEEEEE
does he have a gf??
Anima Sola says:
I don't know.. I didn't ask him when were at soccer practice earlier

Peter asks me to split a plane ticket to South Africa 50/50.

Póg mo thóin says:
im poor. i live in a mudshack held together with, erm, mud and fish bones. my family is so poor my parents couldn't afford to send me to school. fortunately i'm brilliant enough.
i had to get up at 3 AM every day and walk 50km to fetch water from the well of the closest village. once a rich girl tripped me and i spilled the water and she laughed and my family had to deal with dehydration for one whole day
I had to sell one of my kidneys to buy food for my family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anima Sola says:
erm.. i thought you'd sold your colon.. cause you're FULL OF SHIT
Póg mo thóin says:
That was after. HOW DO YOU KNOW MY SECRETS???

Completely random trivia...

Póg mo thóin says:
when i was a kid my mum used to tell me my head was full of water and she'd hold my head in her hands and gently shake it and i'd say, no, it's full of hair

Consensual fun.

Anima Sola says:
peter sy bi bi to li li
he go party and feel up young girly with big boobies and hnice lips
Póg mo thóin says:
lili buy peter new keyboard and dictionary so he can spell and type properly
THAT COST ME ANOTHER KIDNEY
Anima Sola says:
and I AM kidding about the girly.. its boys' night
Póg mo thóin says:
OMG youre going to feel up boys!!!!!!!
Anima Sola says:
its ok.. I'll get their consent first
Póg mo thóin says:
oh, that's ok then
Anima Sola says:
*nods*
"if there's grass on the wicket you must play cricket"
Póg mo thóin says:
what the fucket
Anima Sola says:
criket, its a game
Póg mo thóin says:
i know what cricket is dammit. its not like i was picturing the lot of you hopping around

Potty-mouthed prelude to Peter's departure

Anima Sola says:
now its just me.. and you
*reaches over and dims the lights*
*queues some Barry White*
Póg mo thóin says:
*vomits*
Anima Sola says:
yeah... baby
Póg mo thóin says:
I FEEL LIKE SHITTING
Anima Sola says:
you looking in the mirror again. tsk tsk.. HOW MANY MORE YEARS OF BAD LUCK DO YOU WANT???
Póg mo thóin says:
yae i like to see my poo come out my ass
Anima Sola says:
crikey with a mouth like that you MUST do anal
Póg mo thóin says:
with a mind like that you must too
Anima Sola says:
nah.. i don't think anal's everything its cracked up to be
Póg mo thóin says:
it's a pain in the ass

:D

Star Wars Mistranslated

2008-06-12T17:50:00.002+08:00

Boon Ying sent me a link to this hilarious mis-translation of Star Wars' film subtitles. YARGH, gotta love pirated movies!

Nice quietish morning at the office

2008-06-12T10:46:00.005+08:00

I was late going in to the office this morning. No surprises there. Felt more than a smidgen of guilt about it until I saw Tania's room was empty. The workload is still fairly light, which is also fairly uncommon, so I am enjoying a pair of biscuits with my morning coffee. I am not a big fan of coffee (I frequent Starbucks for their Green Tea Frap) and have some only when I really need a boost. This means I have a cup pretty much every morning. Even so, I am not sure if it has any effect on me. The only time I have ever had a real 'caffeine buzz' was when I overdosed on the stuff as an ignorant intern. Ari was there, but I doubt he remembers me bouncing off the walls.

I also discovered this morning that I had left my browser open to an image search that had turned up some dubious photographs of a transvestite riding a(nother?) man. It is quite amazing the kind of perversion that pops up on the Internet when you're looking for perfectly harmless stuff. Thank God no one else uses my laptop; my work station is at the far end near the window and printer. Who doesn't love (and sometimes abuse) the advantages of strategic location?

Okay, I better do some work. I have to think of interview questions with a business skew for a famous international fashion designer. Any ideas?

What happened to Grey's Anatomy?

2008-06-11T02:40:00.003+08:00

If you follow the series, have you noticed how almost all the characters have the same voice? Everyone, save the actors' nuances, sounds the same in terms of phrasing and choice of words. Not to mention Meredith "Onefacialexpression" Gray and Izzy "OTT" Stevens are increasingly annoying with every new episode.

I miss House.

Tuesday blues

2008-06-10T23:55:00.006+08:00

Work isn't so bad this week. It is rare that I have time to play games at work unless I am stuck in the office well into the night. Insufficient time to try and surpass my personal best (and Rheyan's) in Word Challenge. One day I will score above 32k. One day.

Had dinner with Ari. We hung out last Tuesday too, if I am not mistaken. Is Tuesday replacing Saturday as our day out? Had a healthy dinner of McDonald's grease and fat. People who work there do not seem to know what the McDonald's leaflet is. An insult to my two years of work on the account back in Arc Worldwide. Not that it was something I was proud of or would care to shout about. On the contrary.

Listened to Jason Mraz in Ari's car. Ari thought I would not appreciate his duet with Colby Caillat, "Lucky", which has quickly replaced "Warwick Avenue" as my current favourite song, in spite of the sappy happy lyrics about love. Most songs are about love. Love for a lover, love for life, patriotic love, love for death.

Peter is back in my life and has been for a few days. Due to a stupid misunderstanding (as most misunderstandings that sever relationships are) we stopped communicating for a few months. It was my decision, and it was my decision again to attempt to rekindle our friendship. Things are going well. However, my mood is not.

My country's economy is slowly going to hell, but not slowly enough. The recent fuel price hike is set to double in a few months. In correlation, my frustrations concerning my meagre salary will also double, maybe even triple. A weekend reunion with a few old schoolmates serves well to remind me that a person's success is still judged based on his career or income. My saturnine disposition conjures amusing mental skits of supposedly well-off peers returning home to emptiness and self-mutilation. How's that for success?

I am in no mood to smile nor do I intend to wallow. I will allow myself some time to vent and then move on. After all, I am the cheerful, silly, goofy Li San you know. If I do not deserve better wages, it would be impertinent of me to attempt to upset the balance in the universe.

SYTYCD - Evan Kasprzak

2008-06-09T21:19:00.004+08:00

I feel like a cradle-robber finding someone 6 years younger attractive. His audition on SYTYCD made me smile and watch it thrice. The boy can sing too, there is a video of him performing a showtune on YouTube.

I hear he didn't make it into the Top 20. Darn.

Psycho Encounter at Borders

2008-06-08T22:32:00.003+08:00

It's getting to be a bit of a drag recording events in this blog. Must... not... be so... lazy... To cut a longish story short, Boon Ying and I were at The Curve to meet Andrew Soh after 9 years of not seeing him. That was nice. No camera though, so no photos. He brought back little boxes of biscuits from Japan; one's Hello Kitty strawberry-coated sticks and the other some koala-shaped biscuits.

The former has a strange comic on the packaging... about Hello Kitty's friend Daniel turning into a butterfly and the spring weather being very nice so HK transforms into a butterfly too, and later we discover it was all a dream.

Yeah. I wonder if the strawberry sticks will give me the same sort of dreams. I also wonder what's in the water in Japan...

Speaking of crazies, I bumped into one at Borders. An ugly, balding, greasy-faced 30-something Chinese man stood in front of the Mythology section (no prizes for guessing what I was looking for) while on the phone. I said, "Excuse me". He didn't react so I repeated myself.

Then he turned around and snapped, "You wait la!" He whined to his friend on the phone that he was being harassed by someone and it was "very irritating".

Oookay.

After that, he positioned his pig face in my direction and said haughtily, "Learn to be patient" and walked off like he had just bestowed me some sage advice.

You know me. I'm not some docile mouse who will take this sort of nonsense. I replied, "How was I to know you didn't hear me?"

To which, Mr. Assface actually shrieked, "You shut up la!"

Hahahaha. I was tempted to tell him not to take his sexual inadequacies out on me. All I said was, "You're a rude bastard. Crackpot. Who the hell do you think you are?" In hindsight, I should have had a smartarse comeback prepared, but his ugliness threw me off. My god, what is the world coming to when Malaysians go psycho on you at a bookstore?

He must be Singaporean.

On a bright note, after I told Ari about the incident, he told me I should be his bodyguard and later sent me a text: "You are my kevin costner and i'm your whitney! And I will alwaaaaays love youuuuuuuu!!!1"

So sweet la that donkey :')

Breakdancing baby

2008-06-07T00:34:00.001+08:00

I know babies tumble and drool, but this is far too cool.

Robert Muraine - SYTYCD

2008-06-06T23:32:00.001+08:00

Holy shit. This guy is sick. In a good way.

I met George Michael and Jean Reno

2008-06-06T20:19:00.003+08:00

Okay, not really. One of them was a talent for a video shoot and the other was his friend. Before meeting them I had heard that the talent was pretty good-looking, so I was pleased (just a little). (Alright, more than a little.) Through the grapevine, the story was he had been flirting with one of the service staff on the client's side.

Then I met him. Not only does he resemble George Michael, he also plays for the same team. It had not occurred to me the service staff could have been male. Damn. At least I had a nice chat with the Jean Reno-lookalike, a lovely Irish guy who said I sound a bit American.

The Story of Poop

2008-06-01T02:43:00.000+08:00

It's not sick, trust me.

The Bachelor: London Calling

2008-05-30T00:15:00.004+08:00

The more I watch this show, the more it annoys me. Let me make this clear, the only reason I even watch it is because of, erm, the bachelor. Matt Grant is a handsome and charming Cambridge-grad banker from London with a sexy accent and cute sense of humour. Oh, and he's ready to settle down and have babies (nevermind that there is no promise of a long-term commitment).

I think part of the reason why I seem to be addicted to reality TV is because of all the crazy human interaction that goes on. Okay, so it's possible that some of these are scripted, or at least heavily edited to influence the viewer's perception. It's still interesting to me, for example, to see 25 women shamelessly throw themselves at 1 guy they know virtually nothing about aside from the fancy biography the producers cleverly pitched to them.

Matt sounds fantastic on paper and looks twice as good. Of course, being good-looking, intelligent and having a decent personality pretty much turns most girls into babbling schoolgirls. But the more you watch the show, the more you remember and wonder... What kind of person goes on a reality show to find his soulmate? Especially a graduate from Cambridge who handles multi-million dollar accounts.

He is beginning to remind me of an ex-boyfriend of mine. Highly intelligent and "intellectual", good-looking, well-spoken (he can be quite charming), a law student (at the time). He turned out to be a total psycho. High IQ, no EQ. Not that I'm saying Matt Grant is a useless maniac. I'm sure he's a great guy. His wife-seeking methods, however, are questionable.

I am still convinced that men will end up choosing the one they were most physically attracted to, provided she isn't completely crazy or intellectually incapacitated and has at least some desired qualities, if not all. In time, they'll realise it was a big mistake relying on the Dumbstick (god bless Ling from Ally McBeal).

Having to select a mate within a few weeks is even more insane. The thrill of the game and the set-up creates a false environment that can easily fool you into think you're "falling". How is it possible to really know someone in a month when some couples can't even understand each other after 10 years? Besides, the show has a terrible record of break-ups... Only ONE of the previous bachelors ended up staying in a relationship with the person they chose. That's 1 out of 12. Now I didn't study any business-related course, but aren't the odds... terrible?

"I never regret any decision. So when I know I do make it, that is it."

I am positive that after the latest bachelor's relationship goes the same way, when he finally watches himself on the show, he'll realise he just tricked himself into believing that he found his "true love". It's painfully obvious to viewers the woman he so wanted to convince himself was "intelligent and independent" is actually an immature young girl who loves shoes, shoes, fake tans and shoes. In fact, I'd like to see how things go when he attempts to discuss the Finnish stock market with her.

"Are there palm trees in Finland?"

Poor Matt. Then again, maybe he thought making a fool out of himself on an American TV show wouldn't be so bad since probably no one in London will watch it.

Feeling down? Try the Ari

2008-05-27T21:55:00.003+08:00

OK, I have decided it is pointless to dread the next few long, long days. So I will put on a smile and be a happy camper about it, and hopefully positive vibes will come my way.

Think of happy times, right, Ari? Aren't you proud of me?

Seriously, I still have this stupid forced grin stuck on my face.

It's starting to hurt :\

Hanging on too long

2008-05-27T21:09:00.005+08:00

It's been a weird day. The first half was busy, but otherwise the workload was manageable. Yet now I feel drained. First I had to deal with an unreasonable colleague. She is one of those who erects walls so it's tricky "bonding" with her. I never had a problem with her, although every now and then she would scare me with her tactlessness. It was always subtle, almost passive aggressive, if that makes sense, so unless you're hyper-sensitive like me, you probably wouldn't have noticed.

We have all been swamped with work. Come to think of it, there is rarely a day when I can sit back and relax. I think she was feeling the pressure so much that her fragile filter just broke down and unfortunately, I was a victim. See, I had to do a word list for her to work on for tomorrow's full-day workshop (another sore point I'll talk about later). But I also had to write a script and email it to a client PRONTO. Obviously I worked on the script first. Anyway I already told her I would pass the list to her before lunch. So while I was typing away, she came up to me and asked for it.

I looked at her. She became quite aggressive and confrontational in her mannerisms and tone of voice, and snapped, "Don't be selfish! Give me more time!"

What the hell? Where did that come from?? Normally I would have snapped back, but I promised myself the night before that I would learn to control my anger. So I just shot her a look of disgust and did the goddamn list to shut her up. I think everyone in the office was shocked. It was pretty stupid. She's not the only one with shitloads to do. I'll let this one slide, but if she does it again, I'll have a word with her about handling things better in future... Seriously, was that necessary?? Now I can't look at her the same way again. Boon Ying's leaving, which means after this week I can't ignore Yoon and just deal with BY. Ugh. I don't like my job so much anymore...

Especially when I have to get up at 6.30 tomorrow AND the day after for a full-day workshop AND a 12-hour shoot. Goddammit I'm stressing myself unnecessarily.

To celebrate this glorious day, here is "Warwick Avenue" by Duffy, who sounds like a cross between Norah Jones and Amy Winehouse here.

Don't think we're okay just because I'm here
You hurt me bad but I won't shed a tear
I'm leaving you for the last time, baby
You think you're loving but you don't love me
All the days spent together, I wish for better
But I didn't want the train to come
Now it's departed, I'm broken hearted
Seems like we never started

This reminds me of a few friendships of mine that I chose to end. I didn't want to have to deal with people giving me crap anymore or simply not caring. I really hate that. Please don't pretend to care when you obviously don't.

I had a conversation with someone last year about staying friends with exes. He didn't see a point to it, whereas I found it sad that anyone could be capable of not being friends with someone to whom you divulged your thoughts and secrets. What happened to friends before lovers? Or do people just skip friendship straight into each other's pants?

Maybe I'm excessively sentimental. At the same time, I realise I'm in the same position. I've cut off someone with whom I had a relationship, albeit a terrible one. He talks to me only when he wants something. I don't need selfish people like that in my life. But that doesn't stop me from feeling sad about it. It's like I'm 14 again, wondering how I could have mistaken self-indulgence for affection. Yeah, he didn't really care, he was just bored.

Quit whining, Li San. Deal with it.

Achmed the dead terrorist

2008-05-27T01:48:00.001+08:00

Hahahahaha. Omg, this ventriloquist act by Jeff Dunham is hilarious. Thanks for sharing this with me, Dan!

David Cook - The Time of My Life

2008-05-23T03:47:00.004+08:00

Talk about fast, his first single is already out and playing on local radio stations (or at least one that I know of). Mr. Cook is all set for world domination!

The song itself is alright. Reminds me of Kelly Clarkson's Breakaway but not as catchy.

David Cook - Guitar Hero commercial

2008-05-23T03:43:00.004+08:00

My prayers are answered in this TV commercial for Guitar Hero starring David Cook a la Risky Business.

Tom who??

And the American Idol is...

2008-05-22T11:43:00.005+08:00

*drumroll*

*extended drumroll*

Psssh! Who knew he would win right from the start, eh?! EH?!?!? I said it before on this blog somewhere, I know better than to doubt the awesomeness of David Cook.

According to an article (I forget the source), "Cook won by a relatively wide margin, 56% to 44%, or 12 million votes".

:D

~*\o/*~ *cheers like fangirl* ~*\o/*~

On a side note, I heard he asked Kimberly Caldwell out to dinner.

:(

*cries like fangirl*

Running around KLCC

2008-05-21T23:38:00.004+08:00

So I walked around KLCC today for a shoot recce. Fun fun. Our hosts were actually really nice people. One of them must be close to 50 and I was told by the other host that he enjoys reading manga. We intend to shoot a guy in the bookstore and the manga section actually looked like a good place.

But my boss said, "He's an adult and he reads manga?!" while making this face that was a mix of disbelief and semi-disgust. Good thing her back was turned to the 50 year old manga fan host. I quickly interjected, "But manga is cool!!!" To which manga man cheerfully said, "Yeah!"

In hindsight I could have said something less lame. I also could have been less lame after I excused myself to run off to another meeting. I had carefully planned to run a few errands before actually going to the next meeting, and I didn't want them to see me.

I did a good job of it until I reached the concourse level and forgot which side the exit to parking was. I took my chances. Wrong. So I hurried back to the other side, thinking I'd go behind the elevator area to avoid being seen.

Guess who was there.

"Hi!!" I had to paste a smile on, mumble, "Had to grab a few things!" and scuttle off again. They just looked back at me, mildly surprised. Fantastic.

Back at the office, Tania asked if I was lost because they had seen me scurrying around twice. I know I tend to get lost driving around (I didn't drive much before!) but I don't get lost indoors (much) !!!

:(

Mailing David Cook

2008-05-21T23:27:00.003+08:00

Last Saturday, I finally got around to assembling my gift package for David, which comprises a fan letter (shut up) and my two portraits of him. I rolled everything up and fitted it neatly into a tube that came wrapped in burgundy textured paper. It looked quite pretty! Then I chucked it into an ugly poo-yellow envelope and headed to the post office.

Wow. The DJ post office looks so much nicer than I remember. Think it was renovated a few years back... it's been that long since I went there. Anyhoo, the girl at the counter was surprisingly helpful. I had a few options; send it via Poslaju and pay RM110+ but have it arrive in 3-4 days OR register and pay RM15 but have it arrive in a week.

Logically, 3-4 days is the finale results day which means David will likely get it. A week is the following week... but I suppose whether he wins or places second, he will still be around for a little bit, so I chose the second option. Otherwise it's as Ari says, if it doesn't happen, it's not meant to be.

Here's the amusing part. I asked the girl if the recipient will acknowledge receipt and she actually said, "Ya, David Cook akan tandatangan". In Malay, that means "Yes, David Cook will sign it."

LOL. That would be cool if it did happen. Right now I'll settle for David actually getting my package.

Flashers

2008-05-16T18:00:00.003+08:00

Erm. Not worksafe.

I bet guys will be thoroughly entertained.

Lollerskatez @ Boom Wing. I wish I could have caught that on cam.

P.S. I love you

2008-05-15T01:29:00.004+08:00

Oh god. I cried so much watching this film that my eyes hurt now. They'll be puffy tomorrow and my colleagues will wonder what happened.

PS I Love You stars Hilary Swank and Gerard Butler, and is based on a novel written by Cecelia Ahern, which I still haven't read. It's about a regular couple who have been together for 10 years; one day the man dies of a brain tumour. To help her cope with his death, he had a brilliant plan to leave her letters and presents every now and then.

It's a predictable chick flick but it's a damn good one. My pipes exploded within the first 30 minutes and continued to leak sporadically till the end, which I was worried would be some horrible Hollywood ideal where after a period of mourning, the poor widow learns to love again. I won't ruin it for you, but I will say that I was pleased with the ending. Sort of. Now I have to read the book to see how different it is and if the film is a bastardised version.

You really must watch it, even if you're a guy. Maybe especially if you're a guy. Chicks dig stuff like this. At least, I like crying my heart out over a fictitious character I wish were real and mine. I will just have to wait for a sign that it's the end of life as I know it.

Getting to know KL

2008-05-13T02:44:00.008+08:00

Driving around to meet clients has forced me to get to know my city a little better. Just a little. By now I have established quite a reputation for calling people up for directions (hola, Felicia and Ari!) on the road.

Last week, neither of them could save me, not even Felicia the human GPS. I drove like a speed demon to one place to drop off a package for a client, before zipping off again to the city centre for a meeting. I was quite confident it wouldn't be a problem, especially with Felicia's directions. She mentioned a roundabout.

We must be the country with the most roundabouts; Kuala Lumpur is full of them, courtesy of the Brits. Thanks, colonial jerks! If we had as many rubbish bins as we do roundabouts, KL could beat Singapore in terms of cleanliness.

Anyway, Felicia said the roundabout was some distance off and to call her again when I was closer. I swear not more than 2 minutes had passed before I reached this very weird and sharp curve in the road. Was this a roundabout?! B-b-but... it didn't look like one. I usually drive quite fast (not as fast as my demon racer boss, Tania) so I had to quickly make a decision.

Of course I made the wrong one. I just had to. Come on, the gods need their daily dose of mortal entertainment and I'm pretty popular on the humiliation circuit. I took another turn... straight into rush hour traffic. And KL traffic is no laughing matter. Cars were crammed like metallic sardines as far as my short-sighted eyes could see.

Neither Felicia nor Ari knew where I was. This is the first time I was actually really worried about getting lost in town. Ari suggested I turn off, wherever I was, and ask for directions. Good call. The prospect of being another canned fish among many did not appeal to me. The neighbourhood I wandered into wasn't any better either. I couldn't find a single person who looked like they wouldn't come at me with a hatchet. (OK, I'm paranoid.)

Luckily I found a petrol station, where an attendant took pity on me and guided me back to the city. By that time, it was 5 PM. I had driven straight into hell.

From that point on however, it was much easier to find my way back. I just had to crawl along for the next 30 minutes. Still, the gods were not yet appeased. I got lost a couple more times, much to Ari's amusement I'm sure.

Ooh, and I found a more convenient way to talk without a hands-free kit (yea, yea) - I strap it on to me under my seatbelt, voila! I'm fairly certain it works just as well for flat-chested drivers.

A few good things did come out of this harrowing experience. I arrived home safely well before the usual time, enough for a substantial nap. Also, I got to visit areas of beautiful and polluted Kuala Lumpur I would normally never have had a chance to. How else would I know of cool places such as the Fat Woman Restaurant?

David Cook is going to kill me

2008-05-13T01:16:00.006+08:00

For this week's show, Simon Cowell has chosen a classic love song so that David can annihilate all females and gay males on the planet. Ladies and gentlemen, he will be pwning Roberta Flack's "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face" and I will be doing my best not to melt through the floor.

Don't know the song? After this Wednesday, you will. Or, you can brush up on your abysmal knowledge of music by watching Roberta's video here. (See? My blog is educational!)

Also, my drawing is sort of done.

I'll fix it later, add more details to the skin and maybe try to fix the scarf/ascot/whatever that is. Right now I just need to print it out along with my letter and get them mailed to Fox. I hope he gets it or I will be a very, very sad panda.

The next American Idol revealed (sort of)

2008-05-08T23:54:00.003+08:00

Guess who!

Yeah, he's not quite finished. I didn't like the hair at first, but it has grown on me (pardon the pun) and now I don't mind it. I really must complete it by this weekend if I want to send it off to Fox and pray hard that he gets it.

Ohh, I can't wait till he's crowned the winner. Which reminds me. My company gets free tickets to the premiere of the new Indiana Jones film... which is ON THE SAME DAY AS THE IDOL FINALE RESULTS.

:|

Should I go?! B-b-but... David Cook!!! Damn choices.

On a side note, I am ranked #396 on the global vampire list on Facebook. Hehe.

Crazy Contortionist on Britain's Got Talent

2008-05-04T03:57:00.003+08:00

EEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! The last part had me holding my breath!

Here's a multimedia slideshow with audio about the contortionists who train from a young age in Mongolia. It's not scary, but some parts do look/sound painful. The scenery is breathtaking. My writing is uninspired. Who cares?

Amazing dance moves

2008-05-03T16:26:00.003+08:00

So now I'm hooked on So You Think You Can Dance, brought to you by the creator of American Idol. Watch this audition from Season 2 by a four-man group called the Six-Step Crew. Keeeeraazy.

Ohh, I love singing and dancing. If only I were good at performing arts. Alas, I'm more of a lurker in the shadows type.

Good riddance to lousy friends

2008-04-30T23:49:00.001+08:00

That's it. I've had it with shitty friends who can't be bothered to keep in touch or respond only when they want something. You're out of my life for good.

Byebye.

Gutted

2008-04-27T21:34:00.002+08:00

Yeah. So I didn't win. I'm still pretty pissed off, upset, disappointed, etc. Trivia my ass. The contest, which took place at Cineleisure from 5-7 PM consisted of a giant Monopoly-style board, so the whole thing was quite dependent on luck (ie. roll of the dice).

I answered all the questions correctly, did all the challenges without any hiccups and voila, I lost by 2 fucking points. TWO POINTS. FFS, I SANG in front of everyone TWICE and kicked ass at the challenges.

I'm really upset. Really is an understatement, really. If only I hadn't rolled a fucking no-point turn TWICE. So fucking unfair. I hate you Star World. Thanks for organising a fucked-up "trivia" game to find "American Idol's biggest fan".

Steve Balsamo - Immortal

2008-04-19T00:50:00.002+08:00

Steve Balsamo's voice sends chills up and down my spine. For those who haven't heard of him, where have you been?! He shot to fame after playing Jesus in Andrew Lloyd Webber's West End production of Jesus Christ Superstar. I read somewhere he's Welsh born to an Italian father, hence the last name, and his amazing range spans 3.5 octaves.

If you want to be blown away by his vocals, you must listen to Gethsemane.

Or, you can sit back and enjoy this gorgeous ballad, Immortal from Eric Woolfson's (of the Alan Parsons Project) concept album, Poe: More Tales of Mystery and Imagination.

Kitty's first kiss

2008-04-18T12:02:00.003+08:00

Can I get a collective "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww"?

David Cook - Always Be My Baby (Mariah Carey week)

2008-04-17T21:28:00.008+08:00

Here's the studio recording of Mariah Carey's big hit, Always Be My Baby.

I must warn you, it's even better than the live version! Listening to it makes me swoon and melt. Smoon? Swelt? Smelt?! Mwoon?!?

How darling is David?

David is so damn adorable. Tonight, a caller asked him the million dollar question, "Are you single?"

Rawr.

He looked straight into the camera, eyes wide, and responded with a hearty, "YES!"

Heeheheehheheheehe heheeheheeeheheheh eheheheheheheheehe heheeehehehe heheehehehehehe heheheehehehee

American Idol elimination: Cook goes home

2008-04-17T10:23:00.003+08:00

Finally, the inevitable moment has come, when we knew the lucky streak that lasted so long would eventually meet its demise.

Kristy Lee la! Who did you think? My David?! Giler...

Just when I actually kind of like her.

Red bean colour palette

2008-04-17T01:20:00.002+08:00

Thought I'd give the dark red and muted pink another try. Found a good dark red, but this muted pink won out. Marginally. The secondary/tertiary colours got me confused.

Reviewing the colour palette as a whole, it reminds me of red bean dessert. Can't find the aiskrim potong, but you get the idea.

David Cook will always be my Idol <3

2008-04-16T09:44:00.003+08:00

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMOGMOMGOMGOMGOMOMG IM SO EXCITED NOW I JUST HAVE TO TYPE THE ENTIRE FIRST SENTENCE IN CAPS!!!!!!!!!!

Ok... calming down a little but still wanting to SQUEAL like the little fangirl I've turned into!!!!

David Cook just sang Mariah's Always Be My Baby and he sounds absolutely FANTASTIC. It's so cool to hear this happy pop song from a male perspective. Mariah called it "really pretty and haunting" and thinks "it'd be a hit for him".

I love Mariah for saying that. I never thought I'd agree with the woman who gave us such awful hits as "Heartbreaker" and "Sweetheart".

Watch David's lovely, lovely performance here. Oh my god, I want him in my room with his acoustic guitar, singing me love songs. Sigh...

Ai7 Top7 Part5 David Cook
Uploaded by igrecman

Propose a colour palette pour moi

2008-04-15T22:16:00.002+08:00

As you can see, I've changed my colour scheme again. I keep trying to find a background colour that's "me" and apparently I'm not a cool colour. But dark red can be quite tedious to look at for long periods of time. And muted pink... may be a little too girlie, even for me.

What do you think of this colour? I like it. It's easy on the eyes, and even though it's not me (or maybe because it's not me :P) I like it very much. Please propose a colour for me!

Thanks.

Is it time to say goodbye?

2008-04-14T04:34:00.002+08:00

I seem to know quite a few assholes. God knows why I continue to talk to them when all they do is piss me off. They are much like the garbage I keep around the house for sentimental value. If I force myself to think about it, whatever value that once was, is no longer there. Anything that's not needed in the past 3 months should be discarded. The same should apply to some people. Just because you were close to them once, doesn't mean they're not obnoxious assholes now.

Best dream ever

2008-04-13T19:17:00.003+08:00

I just woke up from a 2-hr nap and I want to capture all the details of a wonderful dream before they quickly disappear from my memory. I was married to a very nice man with the face of an angel and the body of a surfer. I have no idea but I think we were married without really knowing each other. Fortunately, he turned out to be the world's biggest sweetheart and I fell in love with him after we got hitched.

Some other things happened, family drama stuff not worth remembering and some parts definitely worth replaying in my mind :D He resembled this guy, Joseph Sayer, except with dark hair.

Sweet jesus, I hope I dream of that again tonight.

Jhony Maalouf - Touch My Body (Mariah cover)

2008-04-13T03:32:00.003+08:00

This is a fantastic cover of "Touch My Body". I didn't think I would like this stupid Mariah Carey song. Ever. But this is nice.

American Idol takes on Mariah

2008-04-13T03:11:00.004+08:00

Next week looks set to be the most entertaining so far as the Idols are forced to cover Mariah Carey's songs.

This was posted on idolforums.com:
According to a close friend of Brooke, the producers told her (and the other contestants) that the theme would be Mariah Carey #1s songbook (which means that the selection is limited to her #1 original Billboard hits ) in celebration of her sweet 18th #1. Initially, it was just the Mariah Carey songbook, but they limited it to #1s.

So here is the only possible selection:
1) Vision of Love
2) Love Takes Time
3) Someday
4) I Don't Wanna Cry
5) Emotions
6) Dreamlover
7) Hero
8) Fantasy
9) One Sweet Day
10) Always Be My Baby
11) Honey
12) My All
13) Heartbreaker
14) Thank God I Found You
15) We Belong Together
16) Don't Forget About Us
17) Touch My Body

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Can you imagine anyone doing Heartbreaker or Touch My Body? I wouldn't miss Mariah week for the world. Sounds like it's going to be very amusing indeed.

At least until Andrew Lloyd Webber week. But that could be just really, really boring.

Paolo Nutini, will you ever come down these streets?

2008-04-13T01:34:00.004+08:00

Of Kuala Lumpur, that is? I'd even travel to Singapore to see him. I wish I were a billionaire heiress so I could afford a weekend trip to the UK just to attend his concert.

This song is called These Streets and it's about moving to the big city, I guess, getting over the initial culture shock and gradually falling in love with it.

Paolo, you don't have to worry about the streets of KL having too many names for you to remember. It seems most of my friends have no idea what our street names are anyway. Malaysians navigate by landmarks (i.e. buildings, abandoned development projects, crystal-clear rivers). You'll feel right at home.

And people, BUY HIS MUSIC. Remember what the cinema ad tells you, downloading music is like breaking into a skyscraper with fancy spy equipment and stealing diamonds! Now that, people, is not cool.

Paolo Nutini is loving you!

2008-04-13T01:20:00.004+08:00

Well, thank god, because I love him! Listen to Loving You, a sultry song about getting it on! Very Marvin Gaye in a Paolo way. Yummy.

And here's a pic of him just for fun. He's quite a skinny lad, but those lips are anything but thin!

Remember to support Paolo Nutini so he can continue to make more fabulous music! BUY HIS MUSIC!

I love you, Paolo Nutini

2008-04-13T00:58:00.004+08:00

I love his music, I love his voice. Sigh.

This is Last Request, one of my favourite songs of his. It's basically about break-up sex. How romantic!

Please, please, please, go buy his music if you like it! I did!

Selfish friends

2008-04-11T02:35:00.004+08:00

Don't get offended. It's something I've given a lot of though to, although I try not to because it depresses me.

I have quite a few selfish friends. I don't know if it's how my generation is in general. Time poor, overworked, chasing ambitions, no time or effort for anyone else, unless it's their boyfriend or girlfriend, which is also a selfish (and normal) act to want the attention so you won't feel lonely.

That makes us all selfish. Maybe humans have always been like this. I do my best to stop myself when I realise I'm being that way. Ugh, why do I even bother hoping for the best in people when they usually let me down?

Datin Diva the double-faced monster

2008-04-11T01:39:00.007+08:00

Introducing another client from Hell, except this type of Hell is where pompous wannabe socialites with shit for taste go after they inflict pain on everyone and eventually end up getting murdered for it.

Datin Diva is a two-faced drama queen who puts herself so high up an imaginary pedestal that you have to wonder just how long the stick up her arse that's keeping her there, really is. The way she talks about herself is scary and reminds me of serial killers who speak highly of themselves like they're some kind of god doing the world a favour.

My personal nickname for her is Datin Diva. Datin is a title for the wife of a man with another fancy title, Dato. Kind of like British knighthood, except not quite so cool. She tries to be cool but fails miserably. Her favourite colours are gold, gold and bullshit brown.

Sir Elton John, Knight of Subtle Coolness

Like Nerak, she's disorganised and rarely has any clue what she wants, which is why she relies heavily on my boss for ideas. Unlike Nerak, she's a cunning cunt. Oh, and she hates deadlines.

Yet, she's known for springing insane deadlines on us, then refusing to stick to them. For instance, she scared us all silly before Christmas, saying we just HAD to rush out this job before the year-end. Well, guess what. It still isn't complete. The superficial witch sat on my carefully planned timelines for months, pushing and pushing them back.

Finally, she panics and now she wants everything ASAP. What's more, she has Little Miss Clueless as an assistant. She had been present for the full duration of the meeting, yet she remained blissfully unaware that she had important information to send me today. Furthermore, she lost her list of deliverables and had the gall to tell me. What does she expect me to do, rip my shirt off and breastfeed her?

At our last meeting, Datin Diva made snarky comments as baseless as her morals. She claimed she'd told us time and time again that their calendar year starts in March (my boss can attest she never did), only to be not-so-subtly nudged by her assistant who corrected her, "April."

Oh, oh! What's that? Did I hear someone falling off their high horse?

Anyway, I tried to explain to her today that due to the tight timing AND the fact that Satan's Little Helper forgot her part (in nicer words), some parts might not be ready. That's when Datin Diva dove into defensive mode, double time and started accusing me of not delivering as promised.

Oh, whatever, you dried-up divorcee. I always go the extra half-a-mile (only because you eat small children for breakfast) for you and the one time you don't get what you want, you throw a hissy fit.

Usually she apologises the next day for unleashing The Bitch Within to appease the Diva Demon. See the two-facedness?

It's only a matter of time before you're sentenced to an eternity of pain, suffering, bad taste and all the bling bling to blind yourself with.

You get what you give.

TiVo predicts American Idol eliminations

2008-04-11T01:15:00.004+08:00

Just read this from TMZ concerning American Idol and who gets voted off

"TiVo may have cracked the mystery of who gets kicked off and who doesn't. Company insiders say they can predict who's not connecting by TiVo usage.

Here's the deal. In a sample of 20,000 users, TiVo monitors traffic -- which contestants get replayed (a sign of popularity) and which one's get fast-forwarded.

You think it's bogus? Well, the TiVo system has nailed who got booted four weeks in a row.

And who does TiVo say is getting the ax tonight? Poor Syesha. Take it to the bank, people."

Hurray for technology + publicity = forum fodder! I suspect the Bottom 3 will be Syesha, Brooke and Carly. I hope Scary Irish Eyes goes home.

American Idol - Top 8

2008-04-10T01:51:00.007+08:00

I've been so lazy to even review American Idol anymore. What I will do is write a very brief overview of each week's show. This week's theme was "Inspirational Songs", going hand in hand with Idol Gives Back, the star-studded event for charity. Yay, Idol!

As usual, I listen to audio clips of all performances online before I get to see it on Star World. Rickey's pointless commentary has no influence on my opinion.

Of course, the first person I listen to is David Cook. He chose "Innocent" by his favourite band, Our Lady Peace. When I heard the day before that he would be singing this, I had a less-than-great feeling that it wouldn't go well. Oh crap, I was right. My heart sank. Purely based on audio, he was horribly pitchy and lacking in the energy I'm used to in his performances.

I pretty much sped through the others. No one really stood out for me. Disappointing. Even after Rickey's overhyped report of Jason Castro's "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", I was not feeling inspired. This is not to say he wasn't good, he was. So was Kristy Lee Cook. Well, as good as she can be, meaning she'll be around YET ANOTHER WEEK. Goddammit, she's like a roach you stomp on repeatedly that just REFUSES TO DIE. Erm, bad analogy perhaps.

I realised something this week. Syesha actually sounds very good, but when you watch AND listen, she's not quite as impressive. Lack of stage presence? The same goes for Jason (I'm sure hundreds of girls would claw my eyes out in disagreement) and Brooke.

Carly was awful, she butchered Queen with her strained vocals and angry scowls :( I worry about the deepening frown lines between her eyes. Maybe she could practise more often in front of a mirror? At least her dressing is better! More figure-flattering this time.

So this is my lazy rating of Season 7's Top 8's uninspiring performances:
Michael Johns - Dream On by Aerosmith: 7/10
Syesha Mercado - I Believe by Fantasia: 7.5/10
Jason Castro (yikes, I just realised he shares a last name with Fidel!) - Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Israel Kamikazewtfishisname: 7/10
Kristy Lee Cook - Anyway by Martina McBride: 6.5/10
David Cook - Innocent by Our Lady Peace: 6/10
Carly Smithson - Show Must Go On by Queen: 4/10
David Archuleta - Angels by Robbie Williams: 7/10 (Sorry, kid, Robbie's hard to beat, and even though I think you're great, you're starting to bore me.)
Brooke White - You've Got A Friend by Carole King: 5.5/10

Ah, crap. Based on the above, David is in my bottom three :(

And so much for "very brief". Hehe.

Nerak Gna is the world's dumbest cow

2008-04-08T23:15:00.009+08:00

Nerak is one of my company's clients. She's infamous among everyone who works with her, for being completely inept, inane and UNINTELLIGIBLE. Her emails are long streams of verbal diarrhoea that take ages to decipher. But fear not! My colleagues and I have sharpened our skills and become quite finely-attuned to her bullshit.

She's the most disorganised person I've ever met. Her office is a mess, papers strewn everywhere, piles and piles of magazines, books and newspapers all over the place, boxes filled with old junk and probably corpses from World War II as well... Once, there was a dead roach in her room. She promptly stomped on it like a medium-sized elephant.

Yes, Nerak is quite the fatass, no joke. What's more, she KICKED the dead roach out of her office like she was a paraplegic street urchin playing football. And here's the icing on the cake (she ate the rest of it), she kicked it over to her nearby colleague's area.

... What a fantastic human being, right?

Honestly, this woman needs to go back to school. I wonder if her mother was arthritic or abusive. How else could anyone drop their own child on the head repeatedly for an extended period of time?

The latest Nerakism occured today when she realised there were mistakes in some ads that SHE overlooked, yet she blames it on her colleagues. The hideous piece of turd must have performed sexual favours on some poor, blind, tasteless, desperate person at the media house to get an extension on a deadline that was over a week ago.

So, of course, she requested for us to burn copies of the new ads... bear in mind we charge RM100 for every additional CD. She actually told me to "discard the previous CD" and make new ones so "no one will get confused." What the hell? Normally she milks us for every last cent and here she is, throwing a hundred away just so SHE won't be confused?

The best part is, she specifically ASKED if she could come over today at 4 PM to pick them up, so I had our designer prepare the CDs for her. Then it rained, and she never showed up. I bet her fat ass was just too lazy to un-mold itself from her filthy chair to brave the heavy rain and come get the CDs.

While I was watching Dexter tonight, I got a BEEP from my mobile. Lookie here!

She texted me, saying she never received it and demanded that I pop over to her office first thing tomorrow morning. What the fuck? Who the hell do you think you are? I texted her back, saying she was supposed to come over AS AGREED, and that we can arrange for the dispatch to send it over but she'll only get it on Thursday... if she likes, she can get it from our office.

Then my phone rang! IT WAS 11.11 PM. Like hell I'm going to answer. Minutes later, I got another text... she feigned ignorance.

But I stood my ground. It's the best way to deal with Nerak. Finally, she succumbed and said she'll pick it up from our office tomorrow morning. Damn right you will, dumb bitch.

Oh, and I just realised... her name is Nerak... A. OMG. NERAKA!* How fitting (or in her case, just barely).

*Meaning "hell" in Malay.

David Cook's Little Sparrow

2008-04-08T00:53:00.004+08:00

Before your mind wanders into the gutter, where mine perpetually resides when it comes to David, I'm referring to David's cover of the Dolly Parton song. He does a really lovely rendition... so calm and folky.

All I need are some flowers in my hair and an open fire atop a cliff overlooking the rocky English sea. Or something.

Hot White Nights

2008-04-07T22:08:00.005+08:00

Spoiler pics from American Idol's show this week, to be aired soon (but not soon enough obviously).

How hot are my boyfriends?! Seriously, wouldn't you like to get in bed with those two? Mmm, manwich.

Michael Johns is finally complete!

2008-04-07T03:06:00.006+08:00

Yay! I forced my lazy arse to do more than just sleep this weekend, so now you have my latest digital drawing of Australia's sexiest and most talented export since Eric Bana!

(Yes, of course I simply must include this gratuitous shot of Mr. Sexy Hulk himself.)

Now on to the main course...

The clothing took almost as long as the face, which is why Michael should always pose nude. Always. But the real bitch was the hair. I swear, more than a thousand strokes have gone into that. So... I hope you like it.

Constructive criticism is welcome.

Michael Johns wip 5

2008-04-06T04:31:00.003+08:00

YAY! I'm happy with how this is turning out :D

5-Minute Management Course

2008-04-06T02:20:00.002+08:00

Go read this on Ari's blog. It's hilarious. You may have heard some of them, but perhaps not in this context.

American Idol Contest Mechanics

2008-04-04T21:49:00.002+08:00

WTFWTF?? I just found this on someone's blog about last year's ground event for hopefuls wanting to win the trip to the AI finale...

Mechanics:
- Each contestant is required to dress and impersonate 1 of the top 12 American Idol 6 finalists
- Each contestant is required to prepare 2 performances (subject to their choice)

i) Performance (song, dance, talk, or anything interesting and related to AI6)
ii) Contestants who make it to the top 3 are required to prepare another performance which incorporates “why they should win”. It can be singing, rapping, etc.
- The contestants will also be tested on their knowledge of American Idol 6 so they need to “study”

Oh, what the hell?!?! I'm stressed already...

Bloodsucking my way up the hierarchy - update

2008-04-04T20:58:00.001+08:00

Leaping up 62 places, I am now ranked #481.

Cool beans.

Ben's Brother - Stuttering

2008-04-04T07:26:00.003+08:00

My friend, Farooq, told me about this song a month or so ago. He had heard it on a Dentyne TVC - a charming computer-generated fairy-tale, which you can view here.

I still love this song - it's uplifting and bloody catchy. Plus, it brings a shred of optimism that maybe I'll find a Prince Charming who isn't really a frog in disguise.

*Note: I can't seem to upload the damn song...

American Idol Studio Recordings

2008-04-03T21:58:00.004+08:00

Here are some studio recordings of songs that David Cook, Michael Johns and some others have done so far during their Idol journey. If you like them and if you can, please do show your support by buying the music on iTunes.

David Cook:
Top 12 - Eleanor Rigby (The Beatles)
Top 10 - Billie Jean (Michael Jackson)
Top 9 - Little Sparrow (Dolly Parton)

Michael Johns:
Top 11 - A Day In The Life (The Beatles)
Top 10 - We Will Rock You/We Are The Champions (Queen)
Top 9 - It's All Wrong But It's All Right (Dolly Parton)

Others:
Top 12 - Jason Castro - If I Fell (The Beatles)
Top 12 - Ramiele Malubay - In My Life (The Beatles)
Top 12 - Brooke White - Let It Be (The Beatles)
Top 12 - Syesha Mercado - Yesterday (The Beatles)
Top 11 - Carly Smithson - Blackbird (The Beatles)
Top 9 - Carly Smithson - Here You Come Again (Dolly Parton) <-- Holy crap, I actually really like how she sounds here. Her recording voice is a little higher pitched... she almost sounds like Celine Dion.

More Idol mp3s can be found at this blog.

World of Warcraft: New Hero Class Revealed

2008-04-02T00:53:00.003+08:00

The Bard

The deeds of every great hero inspire countless songs of triumph, virtue, and epic adventure. But although a hero’s glory endures in song, the creators of those songs are seldom remembered. After ages spent singing of the heroic exploits of others, the bards of Azeroth are finally stepping into the spotlight on their own terms, proving once and for all that while just about anyone can pick up a sword or cast a spell, only a true hero can vanquish evil with the power of ROCK!

Armed with a trusty axe, killer riffs, and a ton of attitude, the guitar-wielding bard is the second hero class to be introduced in the upcoming Wrath of the Lich King expansion for World of Warcraft. The bard excels both as a solo performer and as part of a solid group lineup, able to front in a number of roles as varied as his musical repertoire.

The bard’s extensive Metal skill line grants the potent transformational ability "I Am Murloc," as well as direct damage effects like "Epic Solo" that will rock foes into oblivion while powerful Indie debuffs such as "Tape Jam" and "Shoegazer" keep them in check. If things heat up, the bard’s Punk tree can support the party with a wide range of abilities, such as "Nonconformity," which dispels fear, mind control, and similar effects, or "Mosh Pit," which briefly boosts the group’s movement speed while its members stay within range.

To fuel his or her powers, the bard uses a brand-new resource system called "groove." Selecting an ability launches the Fret Bar, which will display a number of riffs the player needs to activate using a new guitar-based keyboard peripheral that will ship with Wrath of the Lich King (a special Frostmourne-themed axe will be sold separately). The better the player’s accuracy and timing, the more powerful the resulting ability becomes.

The riffs also become more difficult as the bard’s abilities progress, ensuring that the bard gameplay experience remains fast-paced and skill-oriented. Executing abilities also builds up groove, which further fuels the bard’s epic rock powers. Some abilities such as "Epic Solo" require a certain amount of groove to be unleashed, and the more groove, the more powerful the effect.

The time has come for the bards to claim glory for themselves. No longer will they remain shrouded in obscurity while less-talented adventurers are hailed by the masses.

View pics and stuff here.

Congratulations on coming out, Ari!

2008-04-01T23:24:00.004+08:00

Finally, my best friend revealed to the world what I knew all along.

That's right, people, Ari bats for the same team! This photo right here is proof.

Okay, okay, it's just a prank that was played on him at an office party.

Sorry, guys. Ari is not gay.

Lace

2008-04-01T17:03:00.003+08:00

Weird conversation between Yew Seng and me.

Psst says: eh skank
Psst says: sorry wrong window. thought you were li san
Psst says: lolll :P
Snifflypuff says: har har
Snifflypuff says: what colour is your underwear today
Psst says: stripes
Snifflypuff says: WAH so sexy stylo milo ar??
Psst says: quite, you? black?
Snifflypuff says: pink
Psst says: lace
Snifflypuff says: no lace
Psst says: i like lace, don't know why. on girls that is
Snifflypuff says: i like lace on boys
Psst says: where?
Snifflypuff says: between the ass cheeks
Psst says: i'll eat a lot of lace then
Snifflypuff says: what the hell
Psst says: Just how you like it. Or are you jsut saying it?
Snifflypuff says: I love it. The dirtier the better
Psst says: I'll eat some corn and sprouts too then. and some hay

Lol?

Michael Johns wip 4

2008-04-01T03:00:00.002+08:00

AHH! It's the attack of the floating MJ head!!

*scream*

Bye bye, baby

2008-03-30T20:56:00.003+08:00

About a month ago, I realised the Bay City Rollers' Bye Bye Baby (originally by The 4 Seasons) is NOT a happy song. I know, I know, not my fault the upbeat tune is misleading! ;p It's a pretty depressing song if you listen closely... so imagine my surprise when I tried to cheer myself up with it.

If you hate me after what I say
Can't put it off any longer
I just gotta tell ya anyway

Bye bye baby, baby goodbye
Bye baby, baby bye bye
Bye bye baby, don't make me cry
Bye baby, baby bye bye

You're the one girl in town I'd marry
Girl, I'd marry you now if I were free
I wish it could be.
I could love you but why begin it
'Cos there ain't any future in it
She's got me but I'm not free, so:

Chorus

Wish I never had known you better
Wish I knew you before I met her
Gee, how good it would be for me.
Shoulda told her that I can't linger
There's a wedding ring on my finger
She's got me and I'm not free, so:

Chorus